Moving on to something new...

I am moving on...

I am about the same size in terms of measurements as when I last posted. Last week I started overhauling my eating. I am now eating a gradually increasing proportion of raw food (vegetables and fruits). I have always eaten some raw, but now I am aiming for about an average of 50 per cent raw per day. I haven't quite got there... some days I am probably doing that and others not so much.... I will have to start keeping note and tallying up to get a better idea of it. In the long-term, I would be happy with eating 60% raw.

Part of this decision comes from this: I am really conscious that in order to deal with my weight, I need to deal with my WHOLE body - holistically... I have been doing a lot of research into how I can facilitate this and I realised that I need to find a way to improve my overall health. I am leaning towards the Hippocrates 3 week eating plan/Ann Wigmore's diet. The Hippocrates Institute in Florida (and many other similar and cheaper clinics/retreat centres) have amazing results in helping people with diseases (especially cancer). I don't have the money to go to a clinic or the Institute. If I am to have any chance at achieving any results, I need to do it by myself. So I am making strides in that direction.

In other news, I have been somewhat more active, but I am so stiffled and frustrated by the fact that I am so stiff and swollen, in a lot of pain, and have little stamina to do anything whether it be physically or cognitively (even going out of the house is a major event for me).

One thing this journey so far has taught me is that whereas I thought it was all about my weight, it's actually very little about my weight and very much about my whole. That is to say that regardless of whether I weigh what I weigh now or slightly more or slightly less, if I am still this unwell, I am still going to be unhappy. Health is pretty much everything in this world and for so many years I have not had the blessing of healthiness... I am going to try to get it back or as much as I can.

Wish me luck!

Getting Active

Yesterday was an active day. Yay! I took my dog on a walk - and gave myself a blister in the process... not so yay - and...

I got out into the garden and did about 1.5 hours of gardening, which mainly consisted of pulling up and hacking off (trees) my nemsis: ivy. The day before I did a little 'taster session' where I cut a box bush into a ball... but the ivy really started to annoy me, so that was somewhat motivating to continue yesterday. Apparently this strenuous activity burnt between 400-500-ish calories. I'll take that! Anyway, there is plenty more ivy where that came from, but unfortunately, the weather has taken a turn for the worse and is TIPPING it down...

Boohoo!

The challenge for me this week = to log Monday to Friday. I have a 'housewarming' lunch to attend on Saturday and Sunday is Father's Day, which means homemade treats. I am under no illusions over the futility of trying to log those days; it's bad enough trying to log 'normal' days. Anyway, I have made a good start.

This blog is real...

So I could lie and pretend all was well in the weight loss department.

The truth - Nope...

This is HARD. When I started my next phase, I forgot that this weekend (just gone) was a holiday that went on for 4 days. Holiday = holiday food. The result is more like this:

I am enjoying being honest. I have a diet buddy who I share my successes and failures with. I have found it cathartic to be honest with her when I am going wrong... e.g. yesterday when I ate 2 ice creams and today when I ate a cream cake. I have had so much guilt and shame over eating things I shouldn't in the past, that I have found being open about it when I am eating so-called bad foods (they are not bad, they are foods that are treats and should not constitute the largest part of your diet if you want to get all your nutrients) to be novel and take away some of those shameful feelings that I am bad, wrong, failing...

I went out today and bought a lot of fruit and vegetables. I am going to make some fresh juice tomorrow and on Thursday I hope to make a nice soup and have more juice... flush my system with some vitamins and minerals and get back on the wagon.

If anyone ever reads this blog, especially if the person reading is a person who has struggled with their weight, I want them to see reality... that this is hard, that it's not an automatic thing - e.g. you start 'dieting' and lose weight and this continues till you hit your target weight... some people do manage that and some people don't. If I wrote how amazing I was doing and there were no slip-ups or hard patches, I don't think I would really be dealing with my 'food issues'.

Anyway, I am still of the mindset that if I could get back to exercising it would definitely help offset where I am slipping up with my food. I have decided I am also going to focus on this. Anything is better than nothing right?