Weigh-In & The Role of Meat in Fasting - Intermittent Fast 3

Drum roll please... The results of my first week of Intermittent Fasting are in...

I have lost 0.75 of a pound!

This is the first loss in a while, so I am pleased. While it doesn't seem a lot, if I lost that every week for 52 weeks, I would lose 39 pounds. So I am not 'sniffing' at it. If I lose between 1/2 to 1 pound per week, it would be ideal really as it gives my skin a chance to catch up!

I don't really want to end up like this:

Picture credit: http://www.news.com.au/news/loose-skin-what-you-can-do/story-fnejnnxf-1226479027462

On to the second part of this blog post:

For several years I was a pescetarian - eating only fish and ovo-lacto vegetarian. A while ago I deiced to trial eating some red meat as I was starting to crave it, and I believe in listening to my body. Previously there was no way I could have eaten any meat as the mere thought of it totally turned my stomach, but suddenly I actually wanted to eat it and did not feel grossed out by the texture/taste and thought. I have been trialling eating it for a while now, and generally have probably had meat maybe once or twice a month for the past 3 or 4 months. I am hoping this may have helped my iron and vitamin B12 levels.

Now I am questioning the role of meat in fasting. I am on my third Intermittent Fasting cycle. I found the first two quite challenging because of the dreaded tummy rumblings and hunger pangs (they were actually quite painful!). Now on the first two fasts I had not eaten meat anywhere near them; however, unintentionally I ate some meat yesterday, and I noticed that last night I was not hungry at all while fasting - not one tummy rumble. In addition, today has been less bad than those first two. When I woke up this morning, I was not hungry. I am unsure if this is pure coincidence and nothing to do with meat consumption - as in, I have done two fasts, my stomach is shrinking, and I therefore am getting used to fasting and eating less.

After breaking my 16 hour fast with a cup of tea at 10 a.m., around 11.15 I ate a poached egg on a toasted English muffin. I am not sure if this is also helping me because it's protein rich and eggs are quite sustaining, but I don't even feel much hunger this afternoon. I do not feel all-consumed and like I am counting the minutes down to my 2nd meal at 5 p.m, which I definitely did feel last week!

I am going to see how I do on Friday and report back.

This blog is real...

So I could lie and pretend all was well in the weight loss department.

The truth - Nope...

This is HARD. When I started my next phase, I forgot that this weekend (just gone) was a holiday that went on for 4 days. Holiday = holiday food. The result is more like this:

I am enjoying being honest. I have a diet buddy who I share my successes and failures with. I have found it cathartic to be honest with her when I am going wrong... e.g. yesterday when I ate 2 ice creams and today when I ate a cream cake. I have had so much guilt and shame over eating things I shouldn't in the past, that I have found being open about it when I am eating so-called bad foods (they are not bad, they are foods that are treats and should not constitute the largest part of your diet if you want to get all your nutrients) to be novel and take away some of those shameful feelings that I am bad, wrong, failing...

I went out today and bought a lot of fruit and vegetables. I am going to make some fresh juice tomorrow and on Thursday I hope to make a nice soup and have more juice... flush my system with some vitamins and minerals and get back on the wagon.

If anyone ever reads this blog, especially if the person reading is a person who has struggled with their weight, I want them to see reality... that this is hard, that it's not an automatic thing - e.g. you start 'dieting' and lose weight and this continues till you hit your target weight... some people do manage that and some people don't. If I wrote how amazing I was doing and there were no slip-ups or hard patches, I don't think I would really be dealing with my 'food issues'.

Anyway, I am still of the mindset that if I could get back to exercising it would definitely help offset where I am slipping up with my food. I have decided I am also going to focus on this. Anything is better than nothing right?

Dealing with disappointment

One of the things I am learning to deal with is disappointment.

I feel disappointed in myself this week because:

I feel as if I should have been able to 'control' myself better.
I feel as if I have wasted about 1 week when I could have been losing weight. (Not sure if I have or not as it's my not weighing week).
I feel as if there is not much point trying when I may end up putting it all back on.

A lot of these feelings come back to my need to totally control the eating/diet/logging situation or else completely fall off the wagon and give up. I find it frustrating that I am a total all or nothing person. I either am committed to the program, or I am not. There's not 'partial' with me. I find the whole idea of this all or nothing to be totally disturbing because I cannot see how it will work when it comes to the idea of maintenance. Does it mean that I have to be forever on a diet and forever logging?

I would be lying if I said I have not thought about the fact that I may not lose more weight and I may not reach my goal. Weeks like the one that has just passed lead me to that kind of thinking. 17.25 pounds in and I can feel that the novelty of logging, calorie counting and being in the weight loss/diet zone have completely worn off. Now it is a chore. This completely flies in the face of the fact I have lost the weight and my clothes are falling off me etc. Shouldn't that be a motivator in itself? Why isn't that enough to keep me from straying?

These feelings and situation are totally compounded by TOTTM - it's a difficult time for me. I have dreadful, really excrutiating periods with what seems like some kind of endometriosis/interstitial cystitis going on. My hormones are all over the place and the PMS runs pretty rampant. Being able to control myself in the face of this has proved too much. I just ended up giving in and eating what I wanted.

The part that really irks me is the fact that I have been dilly-dallying around this 165ish weight for a while... I feel that by now I should have moved on and be well away from it, but I know that if I am not careful, all this extra eating and not exercising is going to see me back at 165 and pretty much ready to throw the towel in.

So yes, I am disappointed and I am frightened. I don't want to be this weight... I feel really uncomfortable.

Going Around In Circles

I ate 1,525 calories yesterday and 1,423 today. Yesterday was disappointing. I ate way more than I realised. It's embarrassing to say, but I didn't actually realise how much I had eaten till I logged my final meal on Calorie Count. Today was less of a mess, but I still ate more than I should. While some might say: "it's only 23 extra calories", it's still more than I should have and that means I have had 3 days in a row now where I have eaten more than my allowance.

I truly hope this is just a symptom of the holiday time!

I am still struggling with my swollen thigh. I am intending - thanks to a friend's suggestion - to do a juice fast starting tomorrow evening after dinner and running into Tuesday. I am not sure how long it will last. Maybe only 20 hours, maybe 24 or more. I find a juice fast helpful at times to reset the acidity level in my body and just clear out old 'gunk'.