Back to the land of logging...

So I am back!

I have decided to give this another shot. I don't know my current weight, but I do know my measurements. They are roughly the same as on the 3rd of May. That being said, I am guessing that I have probably put on between 1-5 pounds during my time off. I have no idea of the actual amount. My clothes are still loose; smallest jeans are still too big... so it can't be that bad.

I will weigh next Monday.

I already logged my breakfast. I shall be aiming for 1,200 to 1,400 again. I am hoping if I can keep this up for a couple of months at least, I can lose between 7-10 pounds. I would be pleased with that.

I do find the whole process frustrating. I realised a bit about myself during the time off:

1. I enjoyed not being fixated on food
2. I enjoyed eating a mixture of things - including fattening things I would normally not be able to eat on a 'diet'
3. I tend to eat without thinking - this is still a big issue for me
4. I tend to eat companionably - i.e. so-and-so is having one, so I will have one too... regardless of if I am hungry/need it or not

Regarding #3 & #4, I am starting to wonder if I will ever crack those. I don't know why they are so difficult for me to break free from. I am almost starting to accept the idea that maybe I won't ever conquer those as I had thought I might. In that respect, I do think that I shall have to keep an eye on my size forever.

The Wagon

Due to family events, I find myself at the 'get back on the wagon' stage yet again. I am not feeling this at all. It's so hard! My mind has slipped a bit and I have lost the control feeling and replaced it with a laissez faire type emotional state, which is not helpful at all. Finding ways to self-motivate seems hard. Even knowing that I am now able to get into some clothes that are 2 sizes smaller than what I was wearing at Christmas does not seem to be helping very much. It's frustrating. I am hoping that if I can get a clear run... 1 week... of CCing, I will be back in the habit. So I am starting that today.