Back to the land of logging...

So I am back!

I have decided to give this another shot. I don't know my current weight, but I do know my measurements. They are roughly the same as on the 3rd of May. That being said, I am guessing that I have probably put on between 1-5 pounds during my time off. I have no idea of the actual amount. My clothes are still loose; smallest jeans are still too big... so it can't be that bad.

I will weigh next Monday.

I already logged my breakfast. I shall be aiming for 1,200 to 1,400 again. I am hoping if I can keep this up for a couple of months at least, I can lose between 7-10 pounds. I would be pleased with that.

I do find the whole process frustrating. I realised a bit about myself during the time off:

1. I enjoyed not being fixated on food
2. I enjoyed eating a mixture of things - including fattening things I would normally not be able to eat on a 'diet'
3. I tend to eat without thinking - this is still a big issue for me
4. I tend to eat companionably - i.e. so-and-so is having one, so I will have one too... regardless of if I am hungry/need it or not

Regarding #3 & #4, I am starting to wonder if I will ever crack those. I don't know why they are so difficult for me to break free from. I am almost starting to accept the idea that maybe I won't ever conquer those as I had thought I might. In that respect, I do think that I shall have to keep an eye on my size forever.

Struggling & TTOTM

This week has been a TOTAL nightmare...

It's TTOTM and I kinda went crazy and have not been within my calorie allowance for the past 4 days. It's not a complete disaster - I have been having between 1,500-1,700ish calories and apart from one day, which was my day off, I have forced myself to log so that I can get an accurate picture of how much I am consuming. I do feel proud of myself in a warped kind of way... for actually logging even though I know I was not within my allowance at all. The sad thing is that most of the extra calories have gone on cravings - chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate, cakes, dates, a granola bar... not all bad, but still not ideal.

Today I have been pretty much bed ridden for the whole day... in severe pain. So no exercise to even out the extra consumption. I am hoping that once TTOTM is out of the way, I can go back to my 1,400 allowance and stay within it.