5 Months -> 5 Goals

Taken from: http://www.personal-goal-setting.com/

1. March - Start doing some artwork and research hat making

2. April - Progress to longer TJ workouts

3. May - Incorporate walking my dog, at least 3 times a week, into my exercise regime

4. June - Create a timetable for life (LOL!); including: work (keeping my work a secret) 5 days out of 7, artwork/jewellery making, walking dog, exercising cardio&weights, writing. *all things I should be doing but am very random about actually knuckling down to*

5. July - Buy a hula hoop and get hooping

The above are my goals for the next five months. The month = the time I need to actually get the thing done by the end of and if I get it done/started earlier, then great... but at least now I have some concrete things to aim for. This takes me through till July 31st. Hopefully by that time, not only will I have implemented the above things into my life, but I will also have made great strides in reaching my body goals. 



Here's my reasons for choosing these goals:


1. Artwork & Hat Making - this is something I really need to get back into; it's very therapeutic. I have A LOT of art materials that are just sitting and wasting away... I should use them. I also want to research hat making as I have a lot of materials/fabrics and could probably make some hats for myself. 


2. TurboJam Workouts - I have been taking it slow, which is a big achievement for me (as normally I like to rush full pelt into everything with disasterous results). I feel that April would be a good time for me to move onto more challenging TJ workouts that are both more difficult and longer. Again I am going to aim for slowly, slowly, so I shall start with adding 1 longer workout into my weekly routine and build up from there.


3. Dog Walking - in my more active periods, I have been able to walk my dog pretty much 4-6 days out of 7. I want to work up to giving her more exercise and by this time of the year, it should be do-able. She's getting older, so she is not so bothered to walk necessarily every day, but 3 or 4 times a week for 20-40 minutes would be good. I will aim to do the dog walking on days I don't do cardio, as I probably wouldn't manage it otherwise.


4. Life Timetable - I really, really think I need to create some kind of schedule or timetable for my weeks. I am thinking that each week I will try and do this (building it around other engagements I have), as I just don't get the things done each week that I need to do. Partly this boils down to a lack of energy, but I also feel unstructured and this doesn't help me to be motivated. If I had some kind of structure to adhere to, I think I would be a lot more productive.


5. Hoop & Hooping - So I love, love, love bellydancing and I used to love hula hooping as a child. I figure that bellydancing and hooping have quite a bit in common. After watching some videos on YouTube, I can see that hooping is something I want to try. 

From: http://circushoops.sectorlink.org/eshop/10Browse.asp

The Shocking Statistic

As an avid reader of Dances With Fat (http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/), I became aware of the statistic:

95% of overweight or obese people who successfully lose weight will have gained it back within 5 years. This means that only 5% of people who lose weight actually maintain that weight loss in the long-term.

I think this is pretty SHOCKING. Not only do people gain it back, but they frequently gain more weight than they lost.

For me, it rings true - I have lost and gained significant amounts of weight in the last 11 years, although I am pleased to say I have never gained back more than my highest weight - in fact I haven't even gotten back to my highest weight in those 11 years. Of course I don't know what the reality would be for me had I never gotten sick (as my weight issues started after I got sick) or if I had never had metabolic issues. Maybe I would never have had a weight problem? Who knows? Anyway, the reality is, I have yo-yo-ed.

So, I came across the the Dances with Fat blog and started looking into the whole HAEs  (Health at Every Size) movement about 3 or 4 months before I decided to go back to calorie counting and logging. Some might think it a strange decision - it probably is! - based upon the fact I knew about this statistic and possibly might have viewed my current efforts as pretty futile in the fight against my flab.

However, I do feel I am going into this process with my eyes wide open. Now I know the statistic, I am aware that I probably will have to consciously note my food intake in the long-term in order to maintain any loss. For a while this depressed me as I felt that it was a pretty sh!t state of affairs (let's be frank here) and acutally unfair (I suppose I felt resentful against all those people who don't have to do this). No matter what anyone else thinks, I am not physically comfortable at a bigger weight - not so much because of what other people might think, but because I find it uncomfortable in terms of actually moving around due to where the majority of my fat settles. It's a hinderance!

So although I blabber on about calories and logging and all that jazz, I am trying to focus on eating healthy, wholesome foods (which has always been my goal) and on getting fitter and stronger through targetted exercise and dog walking. In doing so, I am giving my body the best and most needed nutrients I can, and helping it to work optimally for me.

To a reasonable extent I understand the theory behind the HAEs message. I am walking proof that while I might not be well, even at my biggest I didn't have type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure or insulin resistance/syndrome X or high cholesterol. So I was obese, but did not have any of the things we (as a society) are told an obese person will have. I do think that there is a massive amount of scare mongering out there. The ridiculous thing is, I know at least 2 people who have issues with high blood pressure or high cholesterol who are what the medical profession would consider a 'healthy' weight!


During the time period where I have been obese and heavily overweight, I have had the scare mongering tactics thrown at me - these doctors were convinced I would have insulin resistance, high cholesterol, high blood pressure... the works! Why? Because I was bigger! Yet, there could be (and clearly are) people of normal weight who have those issues, but they are potentially not flagged up because they don't look like they might have them. So it's bad for both parties - the so-called healthy weight individuals and the overweight/obese individuals; if you are big, you are assumed to be some kind of ticking timebomb and if you are not big, you are assumed to be fine, even if you are not!


The Dances with Fat blog and the HAEs message have definitely helped me to have a different perspective on my weight, my approach to it and my eating. However, most importantly, they have helped me to cut through the cr*p that we are fed by the drug companies, the medical profession, the diet industry and thin-nist people. So many of my own beliefs around eating, health, diet, size, fatness, self-worth and obesity stemmed from these channels and were completely unfounded (not grounded in any science or logic). 


P.S. If you read the Dances with Fat blog, check out the comments to each post  - they are enlightening!

Blurgh...

Today I am not feeling good... not feeling good at all. *sigh* I think I have some form of stomach bug or virus or something. Yesterday I kept getting a headache that would come and go above my eyes and it's back today - accompanied by feeling sick/nauseous and a dodgy tummy.

Anyway, before this sickness realisation dawned on me, I did actually manage to get in a TurboJam workout. I did the 20 minute one. It seems to go quite quickly (bizarrely). At the moment I am only doing 'Burn' (which is the first workout and 15 minutes long) or the 20 minute workout (which is the second one). There are another 3 (I think) workouts on the DVD and they are longer and harder. I am trying to build up my stamina and strength by going slowly, as I once had a really bad reaction to this type of aerobic workout and I don't intend revisiting that moment! So this week I am aiming to do TJ twice and then supplement it with weights and either ballet workout or yoga workout. We'll see how I go.

Weight Loss Update & Weekly Challenges

Weight loss update - so I weigh now each week on a Sunday and I aim to weigh no more than once a week. My weight loss continues to be slow and steady. I am on target to meet my first major goal, which is to reach 130, sometime around October. Whether I do or not depends on whether I can keep my body in this current state of loss. I am calorie cycling (naturally I guess) between 1,200 to 1,400 on counting days and on my day off, I am probably reaching anywhere from 1,700 to 2,000 (in the maintenance range).

Thoughts -

• I am pleased that I am losing and that I am able to have a 6 day counting/1 day off schedule. This works well for me. I have managed before to not do a 'day off', but I think this time around I would struggle with that, as I do tend to go out with family or friends once a week, and it is so much more difficult and complicated to eat at those times and stay in count. It actually takes away the enjoyment for me, so I would rather have the day off and a rest from counting.
• I am conscious that this week just gone has been a poor week in terms of exercise for me. I did exercise and I met my challenge goal of 3 sessions of at least 15 minutes or more, but looking at my log I can see that if I do more intense exercise, the net calories would be greater or else to achieve the same type of net calories, I need to eat less, which I don't really want to do. This week just gone was TTOTM, so I think I am just going to have to accept that one week every so often will be a less intense exercise week (which is not a bad thing!), as I really can't be doing crazy exercise like TurboJam when I am having my lady issues.

Weekly Challenges

This week are as follows:

1. Weigh-in no more than twice this week (to check fluid issues due to TTOTM)
2. Exercise at least 3 x 20 minutes
3. Blog at least 4 entries
4. Write 5 goals for the next 5 months (should write 1 goal for each month - things you want to change, or to do etc)
5. Eat a portion of fruit or veg at EVERY meal on 5 out of 7 days 

Re: #5 - I am going to try increasing veg and fruits but without messing around calories... so veggie sticks will be my friend and swapping some snacks back to fruit

Weekly Challenges & 10 Good Things!

Each week I challenge myself...

Yes, that's how I roll... I work well when I set myself goals and challenges. I usually try to either pick things that I find difficult and will help me to move forward in my life and weight loss journey or else things that I know should be part of my plan for health.

This week the challenges have been as follows...

Challenges:
1. Only weigh-in once per week (difficult for me - getting better at this)
2. 3 x 15 mins exercise per week (should be part of my plan for health)
3. 3 journal entries per week (Motivating and helps me to work through issues I have)
4. List 10 good things about yourself (difficult for me)

So far I have stuck to # 1 and, as of last night, I have completed #2. I have obviously completed #3 already! (Yes I like to talk!) So that leaves me with #4 to do...


10 Good Things About Myself 

1. Extremely loyal
2. Caring
3. Creative
4. Enjoy helping other people and do try to help other people a lot
5. Sense of humour
6. Good at cooking (ha!)
7. I have gratitude (most days I try to make time to think of things I am thankful for and to remember how lucky I am to have a family, a warm & cosy home, to never be hungry or worry where my next meal is coming from etc)
8. Friendly
9. Animal lover (I think this is a good thing!)
10. Conscientious

To be honest, this list has taken me ages (several days) to compile. I would add one and then leave the list  for ages while I tried to think of something else. I find this type of activity really hard and I think that has a lot to do with not feeling good about myself and worrying what other people will think; both of which I have been working on for a few years. It's good to challenge yourself sometimes and I am finding making myself do these type of activities to be really helpful.

The 'Starting Not To Care' Stage

I realised today that I am entering the 'starting not to care' stage of dieting and calorie counting. It generally hits about 6 to 8 weeks in and as I am officially 6 weeks in this week, I guess this is rather timely!

Anyway this phase sees you going from total obsessive to slightly more relaxed, but... BUT... it is dangerous territory in my opinion. This is the make or break point.

Firstly - you arrive at this point because you start to get used to the new routine and eating structure. Your mind is no longing rebelling at every opportunity and instead seems to reach a kind of resigned approach: you're in this for the long haul.

Secondly - you keep eating the same things, so in the end you begin to know what you can and can't have. By the 6-8 week mark you have had quite a bit of practice at weighing and measuring, and calculating and logging. It's time to let go and release the reins a bit.

Thirdly - if you stay in the anxious, hyper aware, obsessive stage forever, you will become completely exhausted and/or risk developing some kind of eating problem...

So, the starting not to care stage sees me:

• Not measuring quite so much (for example, I am not weighing my bread after I slice it)
• Not logging after each meal (for example, I may allow two meals to go by before I start to log online, so I am beginning to work out how much I can have before I actually log it to find out if I am right or not)

The point of this is that: a. it happens naturally and b. you need to start to learn to judge for yourself and, more importantly, trust your own judgement. When you have quite a bit of weight to lose, you can find yourself at a point where you don't trust your own judgement (after all, possibly part of the reason you find yourself needing to lose weight is because you have a tendency to eat too much or whatever). Then when you are measuring and calculating and logging everything like a frantic nutter, you develop the actual 'need' to do those activities to reassure yourself that you are actually doing it right. Due to these reasons, I think it is good to slacken off a little... see how it goes. You can give yourself a little challenge of maybe a couple of weeks of more relaxed calorie counting before you judge whether you have learnt enough to be able to work this way and still lose weight...

That's the theory anyway!

I am now going to try and put this all into practice. As I said at the beginning, I am naturally finding myself at this stage. It feels instinctive, so I am going with it and will see what happens. I do think I need to give myself the mental space to go through this stage and see if it works and whether I can then continue on as I am doing. Otherwise, it's back to the drawing board and probably more measuring and weighing. Of course I feel a little "hmmm" about the prospect that it might not work and I may stay static or gain. I don't think I will gain to be honest... more likely stay static, but if I can keep my exercise up and am hopefully eating the right amounts, then I don't see why I should not lose as I have already been doing.

Awkward Subject...

Okay, so today I want to talk about an awkward subject:

Chafing & Rubbing... or as some people like to call it... chub rub.

For some bigger people this is a problem that can really interfere with life. Now despite me not being what I consider seriously large (this time around I have been overweight rather than obese - for what it's worth as it's all made up by human beings anyway!), because my thighs are a problem area, the above mentioned embarrassing issue has been a problemo for me. Yet the strange thing - well I think it's strange - about rubbing and chafing is that some people are a lot bigger than me and don't have that issue at all.

Chafing and rubbing of the inner thigh - yes lovely image there for you - is so problematic in the summer months. It precludes all wearing of skirts and dresses. There are specialist products you can buy to alleviate the issue:

http://www.bodyglide.com/
http://www.chemistdirect.co.uk/lanacane-anti-chafing-gel_1_10595.html

Other people suggest trying vaseline or baby powder.

I also have it on good authority that long legged undwear helps:

The thing is, for me, the skin sensation of having two bare legs touching each other was too much. I think it's something to do with my health problems... it set my nerves/teeth on edge. So for some considerable time, I have had to adhere to a 'no skirts or dresses' policy during the warmer months.

I can't wait for this to not be an issue... roll on skirts and dresses!!