Social Foods & Social Eating

One of the things that becomes apparent when you focus on what and how much you are eating is: the amount of life and socialising that revolves around the intake of some form of food and/or drink. Even if you choose to focus more on going out without involving eating and are a person who likes to go out in the evening/night, you can't get away from the fact that most drinks *alcoholic ones* and many soft ones *unless diet versions* are pure calories.

For me, this realisation feels quite awkward. A lot of the interaction I have with other people is related to eating food. I don't go out much, but when I do, it is normally to have lunch with a friend. If I go shopping or to do chores in town, I would normally have a coffee or tea with my mother and eat a small meal such as a sandwich. These encounters can be incredibly difficult if, like me, you are calorie counting. It is surprising in this day and age how many food outlets do not openly publish nutritional information for their dishes, cakes, drinks etc. Even when you come home and go online, it can be hard or impossible to find this information. I don't want to have to keep asking to see the information and then what... noting it down in a notebook so I can log it when I get home?

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As such, I find myself not really relishing these social occasions, whereas, prior to the calorie counting/logging, I would have looked forward to and enjoyed them. Now I almost seem them as a hassle. My strategy has been to organise no more than one social meeting a week, which I can then schedule to fall on my 'day off' when I eat freely and don't have to log. But it's not always possible to achieve this as some weeks I have more than one meeting or event to go to. So I just try my best to account for what I am having, but it does tend to take the joy out of food.

I find this rather anxiety inducing - yes, anxiety... I find calorie counting and logging can cause me to feel quite anxious. I don't want to do it wrong, to let myself down, to not lose weight because I tripped up... If I am honest, I feel that there is a lot of pressure to achieve my goal. I am not even sure where that comes from as no one else has asked me to or is expecting me to diet. It's more of a generalised thing, an: we all know you would look and feel better if you were slimmer type situation.

This leads me on to my other topic: Social Foods.

Now I mentioned 'Social Foods' a few blog posts ago, and I thought I would share what I mean (and this is just my idea/thoughts/opinion).

I noticed that there are a lot of foods that you can't have when you are dieting/calorie counting/logging/watching your weight/trying to lose weight and that nearly all of them are usually eaten in a shared/group situation.

In my family such foods are:

Biscuits (cookies)
Baked treats (prepared by someone in the family or someone else if I go to their house) - cakes, cookies, bars, etc
Crumble (a fruit pudding)
Pie (of any variety)
Things that go with: cream, ice cream, custard
Chocolates

In other families this list would probably be a little different. It matters not. The point is, there are foods that people want to share with you, but which you pretty much cannot have. The problem with this is not just that you might want to eat them, but that you actually can appear rude or antisocial by not sharing them or having some!


In my case/situation, nearly all these social foods are sweet foods. The reason I can't have them is partly because they are sugary/fatty and partly because my calorie allowance does not give much room for maneuver. That is to say that, if I were to have some of one of those foods, I would not be able to eat my main meals easily (as there would not be enough calories left in my allowance) and I would probably miss out on something healthy like fruit or vegetables, which is nutritionally more valuable.

In general, with savoury fatty/calorific foods such as: roast potatoes, wedges, chips/fries etc., if I cook them I try to make them as healthy as possible (cook them with very little fat) or if someone else cooks them, I will eat a tiny portion to satisfy both myself and the person who spent the time and effort in preparing it. With sweet foods, it is VERY DIFFICULT to do this. I have tried a few times and each time failed. 


I still haven't worked this out... the thing I feel most uncomfortable with is not so much not having the food item, but with not being able to share and participte in a social moment between family and/or friends. I often find myself going off to another room while they eat the particular food I can't have, which can feel rude and is also quite isolating. However, it is equally awkward to sit around people who are eating some delicious/tasty that you can't have. I also wonder how this will work going forward. Assuming I do make my target weight, what then? I can't foresee a way of eating these social foods without regaining all the weight I will have lost. I can't foresee myself going off to another room for the rest of my life. Where's the middle ground? Does anyone know?

From: http://www.zazzle.co.uk/sad_face_sticker-217712888839993310